misguided love



Have we ever heard the expression, “The road to Hell is paved with good intentions?” This is oh so true. The expression actually came from St. Bernard of Clairvaux, who in his wisdom, knew we lie to ourselves all of the time to try to convince ourselves what is bad is actually good.

If we look at the great atrocities in the world, we can easily see that most of them are directed from the misguided love of others not some sinister plot of evil. People simply think (try to justify) what we are doing is good (love), when in God’s eyes, it is far from it.

Justification: of what is the greatest good.
Oxymoron (bad = good)
I can’t afford a child; I don’t want him to suffer without what he needs. We shouldn’t remove a woman’s right to chose and force her to have a baby.
Therefore, breaking God’s law and killing a child is better.
Living with someone
We have already had sex, what difference does it make if we live together; we will save money. I want to know someone better before I get married.
Therefore, breaking God’s law and committing continuous fornication is better.
I wouldn’t allow my dog to live like that; how can I allow my mom?
Therefore, not trusting in God’s will (what He allows) as being truly the best, breaking God’s law and killing someone is better.
Homosexual marriage
Who am I to judge? If they are in love, how can I say they don’t have the right to marry?
Therefore, not guiding others away from their sins towards The Way (a life of true happiness), ignoring God’s law (offending God) and condoning sodomy is better.

We don’t only misguide others with large atrocities. Sadly, our entire lives of guiding and helping others, much of the time, is from misguided love. We love, guide and help others, not to Life but to death, and we don’t even know it. 

We do this because we aren’t focused on doing what is TRULY best. But from being deceived, we are focused on bring others happiness and cross free life, since we have been deceived as to what should be our life’s goal…to LOVE GOD for the salvation of souls. We are living for the world and it’s pleasures instead. See the examples below.

Offense to God
Justification: of what is the greatest good.
Oxymoron (bad = good)
I want to see others are happy, so I complement them and tell them what a great job they are doing so they will be happy and proud of themselves.
Therefore, encouraging others to do things for self-glory (praise) and boosting their blinding pride, so they don’t give God the glory and acknowledge their nothingness (need for God-have humility) is better.
Presumption of Salvation
My friend is sad since their spouse died. So to bring him peace, I assured him that his loved one is in Heaven.
Therefore, pretending like you can read someone’s soul and giving the mourning no desire to pray for their loved one who most likely needs heartfelt prayers on their behalf–robbing the dead of the prayers they need–is the greater good.
Declaring God is OK with our sins
So my friend won’t feel so bad for her sin, I told her God loves her and understands why she did what she did…and will forgive her, so she won’t feel guilty any more.
Therefore, by trying to remove someone’s guilt–which is trying to take away someone’s sorrow for their sins–by pretending God is OK with us offending Him, but yet, He tells us to love and obey Him and hate our sins…and by insinuating that God’s understanding of their sins makes their sins not so bad, makes them incapable of receiving forgiveness for their offences against God, because if we aren’t feeling guilty…greatly sorry for offending God, we reject mercy.
So something bad wouldn’t happen, I lied.
Therefore, to keep yourself from carrying a cross (admitting an error or dealing with a negative consequences), you chose to offend God the Almighty, since you love yourself more than Him.

As we can see even with the very few sins that I mentioned above, the reason we commit them is because we have been tricked into thinking something good will come out of sinning. People in general want to love and do good, but sadly, we take sinning so lightly that we actually fool ourselves into believing evil is good…since we see a seemingly “good” immediate outcome of our wrong doing. That devil is using us are his tool to destroy souls, but we don’t even know it. To learn more please read, “What Does Evil Look Like.”

Seeking self-glory, for most, is constantly in our thoughts and actions; we would be shocked so see how this infects most of our lives. What a detriment living for vain glory is towards obtaining a saving faith. Sure some are more infected with this illness than others, but most are blind to the vast ways we desire to glorify ourselves (with complements, friends, success, etc.) and not knowing our nothingness, giving glory to God. This is the source of happiness for countless souls. Oh, how rare it is for someone to have stamped out this evil from within…how much work it is to remove this deep sin of our pride. Yet, vain glory keeps us loving ourselves over God (idolizing ourselves) and it is deadly. 

The greatest way we die today is from presuming we are saved…and what incredible ways the devil has us suffering from presumption of salvation.

The ultimate way we reject saving forgiving mercy is when we lack contrition for our sins. It is when we feel God will forgive us no matter what sins we commit, even though we are lacking a true horror for that sin.

The reason we lack sorrow and presume we are saved is because we spend our lives lying to ourselves…thinking good will come from bad.

Oh, I could go on and on with every trespasses. Tragically, we aren’t concerned with loving God, since we are not focused on not offending Him; We are focused on wanting ourselves and others happy, and we have been deceived into thinking we can do it through sinning. But breaking God’s law, even the smallest, is sinful and causes so much damage…damage we simply don’t understand. 

When we lack grace and are being deceived, we will think breaking God’s commands is somehow good or better than the possible consequences that might come from not breaking the law. Then, we ignore the fact that we should be loving God and chose to do what we desire–which is sin.

“The sinner has conceived pleasure in the idea of sin [tried to justify sin as good], and hatred of virtue [rejecting good for sin]…which has deprived him of the affection of love which he ought to have towards Me, and his neighbor [prefers to harm God and neighbor, not love them, so to sin].”

–God the Father to St. Catherine of Siena

With anything in life, even when we do things that aren’t “technically” violations of God’s law, there are things which are good, things that are better and others which are the best. With every thought, word or deed, there is a greatest good (the best) and a bunch of lesser goods, but of course, the greatest good–what is perfect–is what we should be striving to do. However, the devil deceives us, and then we become all confused as to what is good and what isn’t, what is the best and what is far worse. That is when our choices become all wrong.

Since God made us with hearts of love, most people want to do what is best–what is loving–but from our pride and lack of grace, we wind up lying to ourselves so we can justify doing what is wrong–what we really want to do–yet truly believing it is good.

Confusion from the Devil

Let’s look at the very tragic evil of abortion. Now those of us, who are blessed with grace and not deceived by the evil one, understand the intentional termination of a defenseless unborn life is gravely wrong. However, lets look at those not so blessed with grace, those who support abortion.

Have you ever talked with someone who works in the abortion industry, or someone who wants an abortion, or someone who votes pro-choice? Well, if you have talked with any of them, with a heart of great love for them, not condemnation or ridicule, but a heart who desires to love, understand and listen to them, then you will come to know they are guided in their belief that killing an unborn child is the “right thing” to do, at least in certain circumstances, from what they consider to be LOVE. 

Truly, these people, who support abortion, aren’t some wicked monsters who love slaying babies, not at all. Most of them, from a lack of grace, are simply very confused as to what is right and wrong and have justified abortion as the greatest good. 

You see, the devil is very cunning and if we aren’t careful, he will use our pride to whole heartedly convince us, we are right and what is a violation of God’s law is truly loving others and good. We won’t listen to those who God brings before us to enlighten us; we will do what we believe is good. Then we will lose sight of what is sinful and what isn’t. Next, from the rejection of grace, God’s law will even become a blur. Yet, as simple as this is: bad = bad…always. To learn more please read, “What Does Evil Look Like.”

Bad = Bad

Therefore, no matter how we try to convince ourselves that something wrong is good, if it is against God or His Churches’ laws, it is always a sin…no matter how well intentioned we may be. Not obeying, even the slightest law, is most certainly, every time, harming Our Beloved Lord, others and ourselves; it is sinful.

So why does God, sometimes allow, what seems to be good, come out of the “bad” we do. Well, I have to tell you, we sin in every act we do. Yes, there is some motive of self-love in sadly everything we do (unless we have obtained the fullness of God’s grace). We can’t love God perfectly in anything (with no self-love) if we are still with imperfect love (not with the fullness of God’s grace). To learn more please read, “How to Love God.”

Therefore, just because we can’t “see” the sin in our thoughts, words or actions, that doesn’t mean it isn’t there and yet, as deceived and sinful as we are, God, from His unfathomable love, still blesses us even when we do wrong and scourge Him over and over again.

When good seems to come from bad, does that mean now bad = good? No way! Bad (sin) is always wrong and always harms God, others and ourselves–every time. However, God will tolerate our sins and still bless us sometimes, so we can turn from our sinful ways…not to stay in them.

God is Longing for Us

Why would someone turn to God, wanting to change their life, after reading a book written by a heretic? Why would God heal someone of a great illness after visiting a false apparition site of the Blessed Mother? Why does God allow what He allows? Aw…love and tolerance.

You see, God is constantly calling us, longing for us and will use any means available to try to soften our hearts so we will desire ever more greatly to seek Him and stop offending Him for our Eternal Life. And if we are open to hear Him talking to us, we will have a chance to convert a little and hopefully into a saving faith.

Now does that mean we should promote or supply people with books written by those who are preaching some false truths, of course not. God would be greatly offended. There are plenty of books written by the saints, who we know have the correct light to guide us. If we have read them once, read them again, as God is constantly enlightening us more deeply to The Way.

Sure some of the saints’s books might be challenging to read, but if false preaching leads to our doom, then what is the greatest good? False preaching or a challenging book? Of course, if for some reason, there is truly nothing available to inspire and enlighten us to follow Jesus correctly, that is written by saint, then something, might (and I say this with the greatest of caution) be better than nothing at all if it isn’t written too far from The Way. But we must be oh so careful as St. Alphonsus says, “A single bad book will be sufficient to cause the destruction of a monastery.” 

Books Can Kill

Those who don’t yet have the wisdom (grace) to recognize the truth from a lie–which is sadly most of us–will think a book is written according to the truth if it “sounds” correct to them. And the book might possess much that is correct, but tragically most books not authored by saints will be lacking what we really need to hear (the fullness of the faith) or even be preaching a wrongful truth (heresy). 

These books, will either keep us lukewarm or steer us away from God, leading souls to their doom. And if we can’t yet tell what is the truth, why read anything except that which is from a saint? Do we want to be lead astray?

Truly, if from reading other articles on this website, God has blessed you with enlightenment and you have now come to realize, you have been deceived, then please know you don’t have the correct light of truth yet and I can assure you, if you have been deceived in one recognizable truth of the faith, you have been deceived in many non-recognizable truths too. It will just take time and grace to enlighten them to you. Please humble yourself. 

Therefore, to not continue to unknowingly feed yourself poison, please only read The Word and the works of the saints. It is hard enough to not mis-interpret what they are saying, never mind having to recognize the truth from a lie. Plus, God will have a much easier time penetrating through our wall of sins, to guide us to salvation, if we hear the correct truth. Please see our list of books written by the saints on this web sight.

But if greatly imperfect preaching is all we are given to hear, then God will use that too…just not as effectively, as much of the time, we can go one step forward, but from the falsities that are unknowingly being intermingled with the truth, we never obtain rich soil and our seed, that God planted, doesn’t grow or dies altogether. Tragic!

Miraculous Healings

There are some non-approved apparition sights of the Mother of God, which people flock to for healings, since there are healings occurring there, but the “sightings” or “visitations” are from the deception of the devil, not God. Yes, “Satan masquerades as an angel of light” (2 Corinthians 11:14). We see this clearly in the life of Sister Magdalena of the Cross – who was described as the most miraculous saint for 40 years of her life but she actually was given–what appeared to be–fantastic graces of a mystic from a pact she made through the devil.

Now, why would God allow His miraculous healing love to occur in someplace that is derived from evil–like false apparition sites? The answer is: because that is what is the greatest good for the salvation of our souls.

Now, we might have a hard time understanding why God allows what He does as being the best for us, but we must trust in Him–of all perfect wisdom–who has a perfect plan for our salvation (if we change and follow His will).

You see, God doesn’t so much look at the location of where we are as a reason for healing, even though sometimes that is a consideration. However, what God looks at most is the DESIRE OF OUR HEARTS or our need to “SEE” His love. We people tend to open our hearts so much more when we believe God heals in a certain location (and certain locations some times do have even more grace dispensed for healing like at healing Masses or even true apparition sites–especially for those of weaker faith).

Now most of us will say, “I believe God heals,” and we do this with some amount of faith, but our faith and desire, for most, increases substantially when we are in a place where we believe is of great healing.

Therefore, in a place like the approved apparition site of Lourdes, France, with its true healing waters….God wanted to show His love through these specific waters. However, God doesn’t only heal there. Not at all; in other locations throughout the world…actually anywhere…God heals. But He does so, if it is His will. All we need to do is simply ask Him with a heart of real faith. That is it.

So if we go to a false apparition site and with all of our heart believe God can heal…since the location has moved us into greater faith, and if God wills it, God, from His great love, will heal us, even if we are in a place derived from evil. If we seek, we will find. And many many have found God…because they really wanted to find Him even in unholy places.

But, should we go to false apparition sites hoping to find God, no. If we know better, we most certainly should not support the spread of deception…even if God intends to use it as good. Remember the evil one intends to use it to lead us towards death, and God always wants us to support only what is good.


If we think because of God’s great love for us, He is all sweet, gentle and tolerant all of the time, then we don’t really know God. That isn’t the God the saints know. Oh, how many people are living blind thinking they are following Jesus but from their mis-guided love they are actually guiding others to their doom because they don’t truly know who Jesus is.

Sure God is sweet, gentile and patient, that is, when we are truly trying to sanctify ourselves–and even with them He shows himself harsh at times, to motivate us, but He is also quite angry, direct, and intolerant (ready to punish), much of the time, when we simply don’t listen. We can’t remove God’s anger thinking that is love….when love is mercy and justice combined.

God doesn’t expect little of us, but for us to obey Him and be constantly changing towards perfection. When we don’t, He isn’t just fine with that. No, He wants us to stop our sins and change. Don’t be deceived. To learn more please read, “What Does Evil Look Like?”

“When I took off those accursed liveries [clothes] of Satan, namely all of the worldly attire [fashionable clothes], the instrument of his [the devil’s] malice, [then] my Sovereign Master presented Himself to me torn and disfigured as at the time of His scourging, and with bitter reproaches [disapproval] He said that it was my vanity which had reduced Him to that state, and that I was wasting most precious time [meant to come to know, serve and love Him] of which He would demand a rigorous account from me at the hour of my death. He added that I betrayed and persecuted Him, regardless of the many proofs He had given me of His love and of His desire that I should render my self conformable to Him.” 

–St. Margret Mary

Guiding Others to their Doom

Sadly many people think we are loving someone, when in fact tragically, we are killing them. How many spouses or parents refuse to see the sins in each other (to help save them) because we don’t want to think of our loved one as a sinner or hurt their feelings with the truth? 

For example: “Oh, my son would never do that,” the proud mother–who thought she raised her child well–tells the teacher, as she refuses to open up her conscience into seeing that her son is far from perfect. Or the poor wife who says, “My husband does’t lie; he hasn’t lied since he has been a child,” as she prefers to stay deceived and tries to cover her husband’s crimes. Or, “You poor thing; you suffer so much from your children’s abuse,” the seemingly supportive husband tells his wife when she complains about a lack of love and respect from her children…yet, he is unaware that he is actually pushing his wife away from loving her cross (peace) and into self-pity/self-love (despair/sin).

When someone tells us of our or our families’ sinfulness, many people from the hardness of their hearts, find others attempts to enlighten us an insult. These poor insulted people do not listen to the voice of the Lord, its God [speaking to them through others], or take correction. [True] Faithfulness has disappeared; the [true] word itself is banished from their speech” (Jeremiah 7:28). Unknowingly from their pride, they are speaking and living a false truth from misguided love. 


However, when God sends us someone to bring awareness of our misery, we shouldn’t be insulted or offended at the correction of others. We should be grateful for such enlightenment and feel wonderfully encouraged to repent and change or help others to change. But when our pride gets a hold of us, we defend ourselves and others sinfulness, loosing site of reality and trying to justify many sins.

Sure, perhaps, the person correcting us is incorrect in some if not all of their judgement but regardless, we should rejoice and humbly, honestly look to see if their is any merit in their speaking. What a shame to miss God speaking to us through others! We don’t want our pride to miss such a blessing. Those words were meant to guide us to The Light, to help save our souls. We should be wonderfully grateful for the opportunity to look deeper into our conscience. Then we will come to see where we or our loved one is failing at perfection, so we and others can repent and change and grow to offend God no more.

Truly, family is supposed to help lead one another to Life, not death. So tragically, from mis-guided love, many are mistakenly trying to keep each other “happy” with support and complements…at the same time as they keep each other blind to their unrepentant/unchanged sins…nor are they providing them true words of love and guidance towards peace. To learn more please read, “What is God’s Plan for Family and Friends?”  

“Those who speak flattery to their neighbor cast a net at their feet [to fall into the devil’s trap of self-love]” (Proverbs 29:5).

Tragically, many of us are simply so proud, which makes us so closed, that we don’t want to see our sinfulness and prefer to stay blind–since the truth hurts much of the time. Plus, it is hard, very hard to help others grow in faith with the truth, since our loved ones, much of the time, lack the grace to have gratitude for hearing the blessing of the truth and respond with words of anger instead.

So we lie to ourselves, thinking we righteous and loving others, when in fact, to avoid conflict and from the deception of the evil one, we are only telling people what they want to hear to keep them happy. We are building others up (the wrong way)…not actually loving how Christ loved us at all. We aren’t guiding others, with true love, to The Light, by the truth, but keeping them happy with the world (praise, complements, buying them material things, placating their self-pity and increasing their self-glory)…not leading them away from all of that and into seeking God alone as their source of joy.

Many instead of loving those they care for, by helping to humble themselves, and then guiding them to Jesus so they can repent and change–teaching them how to obtain salvation, which is actually loving them how Christ loves us–we are actually, from misguided love, helping to build up each other’s pride, cover their sins, providing horrible guidance away from The Truth and leading them to their eternal doom. Oh, how tragic!

“He that shall lead into captivity, shall go into captivity” (Revelation 13:10).

Hate Your Self

What! Why would the saints say we must come to “hate ourselves?” Doesn’t that lead to a life of despair? No, not at all. We have been tricked into thinking we have to gain self-love to be happy, but we must “destroy self-love” (St. John of the Cross). You see, we don’t understand because we simply don’t have the grace to know The Way. Oh, we are all confused from the misguided love of others, and as a result, we are seeking self-value down the wrong path. 

“These are the holy and sweet works which I seek from My servants…reliance on the affection of love [from God], with a holy hatred of herself, accompanied by true humility and perfect patience…with a hunger and desire for My honor and the salvation of souls.” 

–God the Father to St. Catherine of Siena

Some say, “I couldn’t live without my family and friend’s support…I used to live a life of depression, never feeling I was good enough, until I found someone to really love me as I am.” Oh, that sounds lovely, to those who don’t know any better.

But from not knowing The Way, because of all of the misguided love being given, we aren’t learning how to let go of the world and seek the Lord to give us true happiness and fill our needs, since we have made our family and friends our “gods”–those we run to and need to find our life of joy and sense of worth.

“I [St. John] do not accept human praise; moreover, I know that you do not have the love of God in you [since you accept praise]…How can you believe [with a saving faith], when you accept praise from one another and do not seek the praise that comes from the only God?” (John 5:41-44)

We are not becoming nothing (truly humble) so God can be our everything through us. We are tricked into thinking happiness comes from thinking we are great. We can even trick ourselves into becoming happy with that mentality, but we won’t obtain Eternal Life.

Reality is, we are wretched sinners–a great misery–that truly need God to do everything good through us.  However, because of the mis-guided love of others most refuse to see their misery and lie to themselves all day to find happiness with themselves and not God working through them.

Sadly, if our hearts–while looking for happiness–don’t fill up completely from lying to ourselves or from getting others affections/attention with social media, Church groups (yes, even things which are meant to be good, the devil can use to make bad), socializing, family time, etc., then we run to things of the world to complete us (to fill our void) like: drugs, alcohol, smoking, good food, shopping, hobbies, accomplishments, pampering, vacations, video games, TV, internet, etc.

What we seek to bring us happiness is different for everyone, but we should be spending our lives knowing our great sinfulness, working with God’s grace, to leave all of those things and SEEK GOD ALONE AS OUR SOURCE OF TRUE JOY. Oh, the things we long for, to bring us happiness, that aren’t God and His will. Oh, our idols! To learn more please read, “What are the Mortal Sins” and How to Reject the World and Live for Heaven.”

Yet, our family and the things of the world are supposed to lead us to God, not become our gods. Truly, longing our families love/attention or anyone’s love/attention is a most deadly attachment, which is so very hard to let go so we can embrace God’s true saving love for eternal life. Again to learn more please read, “What is God’s Plan For Family and Friends.”

The Word and the saints tell us to “run from complements,” to “flee from socializing” (idol chatter), but since we are so deceived, we run to that and give that kind of love to others, when it isn’t the greatest good. Sure praise and attention has its place sometimes, but we don’t know what that is…since we live deceived. We just want to make others happy and from misguided love, if we see the slightest good or detect someones need to feel loved or even if we want to feel like we are a loving person, we lavish praise and attention upon others, thinking that is love, but that isn’t what Jesus did–not even one time.

We have made the building up of our pride our god (what we long for and need for happiness). But what happens when success, complements, attention and praise runs out, or when someone is angry with us, or we make a huge mistake, or others treat us badly or even leaves us, well, when our “god” leaves, we are right back to being filled with self-pity and despair since we don’t have God’s perfect satisfying love because we relied on those worldly things to satisfy us and not Our Lord alone.

There is a godly–correct–way in which we can help each other move from destructive thinking/desires and towards thinking which leads to Christ’s Sacred Side of Perfect Love. If we are careful, we won’t become someone’s god in the process. But tragically, we don’t know how to do that nor know how to gain the humility–self-hatred of our sinfulness–to do that, so we fill our void of love with seeking it from the world instead. 

Truly, instead of our loved ones leading us to Life–so we can find the most perfect satisfying love and joy God wishes to give us–we are making our family and friends, our gods…our source of happiness. So, tragic! We have lost The Way. We don’t even know what the goal is anymore. God help us! To learn more please read, “How Can I Find Happiness.”

We Must Change

We are here in this world to help each other obtain salvation, with the truth. Only the truth saves. Of course we must first learn the truth and then after we learn it ourselves, we are never to go around intentionally insulting each other with the truth to prove how knowledgeable we are. That isn’t love. That isn’t what Jesus did. 

When we speak, our humility must be great (knowing our own wretchedness), and our hearts must burn with love for others (for their salvation) then, with all grace of God guiding our words, we should seek, with all courage, to do what Jesus really did and preach the truth. 

We can’t shy away from the possible conflict with others; we must seek to preach how Jesus would preach…sometimes it will be direct, sometimes indirect, sometimes with anger over the sin, sometimes with sadness over their loss of grace, sometimes with no words at all. Yet, each time we preach, it will be different for each different situation, just like Jesus did for us. To learn more please read, “How to Preach the Truth and Save Souls.” 

Please remember, no matter how well intentioned we are, if we aren’t guiding others to The Light, the way Jesus really has done, by teaching others how to stop sinning and truly love God for the salvation of our souls, with the truth in our words and actions, we are failing and dying. 

Run to Jesus, He wants to teach us how to really love God and others for the salvation of our souls.