How can I trust in God and not become angry when things go very wrong?
God Wants you in heaven
Trust in God brings great peace
We all have different struggles in life. But wanting things the way we want, how we think is “best,” is something we all struggle with. We all react differently to our struggles against our will but that is what “wanting things our way” is…wanting our will, not what God has allowed (His will). Most don’t want the challenges, the sicknesses, the hurt. We want–we desire–the easy, no problem way of life. When God allows things to go all wrong–against our plan–or we goof up and do all of the wrong things we wanted to avoid, we can get rather upset because we are very strong willed people… some more so than others but sadly unless we have learned how to obtain God’s grace to truly surrender our will for God’s, we will always lack peace because we don’t trust in God–what God allows.
“Happy the man who trust in you!” (Psalm 84:13)
This surrendering our will to find a life of happiness isn’t just needed for a life of joy on earth, but it is needed to find Eternal Life too. If we die and still desire our will and not God’s, we reject reject God and His saving grace because we still didn’t grow enough in faith to obtain a saving faith that really believes Jesus–His will–is the Way to Heaven. We still love ourselves over God. Please believe, living life opposed to God’s will leads to a miserable life on earth and for all eternity. God truly knows best. This we must come to really believe, not just in word, but proven by our actions.
Some will suffer more from their self-willed choices than others, but no matter how much we struggle with accepting whatever God allows to happen, as ultimately for the good of our soul, we won’t obtain true happiness on earth or for eternity. We must learn how to trust in God to be saved. Sadly, most of us don’t know what trusting in God really means. We say, “Jesus, I trust in You” with our words and then the next moment something goes wrong from little things to big things we are aggravated or in distress.
Sadly, even though many think we have great faith, most still have very little faith and tend to only praise God and have gratitude for what He allows when His will is in accord with our own–when the “good” happens. But we fret, become angry or complain and can’t wait for the “bad” to leave when it does happen. We want our will, not what God has allowed. Oh the wonderful praise we give God when things go, what we consider, well and what horrible worries and complaints we have when the struggles come along. Some of us can’t even sleep and worry trying to predict and control what is going to happen or spend all night reliving what has happened, as we fret, wishing we could have changed what did occur. That isn’t true faith.
What is Faith
True faith isn’t participation in or knowledge of our religion as some people have been deceived into thinking. Some think the more Masses we attend, good works we do, Bible studies we participate in or theology classes we take that some how makes us more faithful. Well those can help us grown in faith. They can make us some what knowledgeable, and leave the appearance of goodness but that doesn’t necessarily determine ones faith. If I send an atheist to Mass, have him work in a food bank and teach him the facts of the Catholic faith does that make him faithful? Not at all. We are only faithful if we believe by loving God during the Mass, are serving God–through our neighbor–at the food bank and apply what we have learned about the faith into our lives. Belief is not based upon knowledge or works…even though those with faith will have knowledge and works. However, belief is based upon our love for God and/or desire for salvation which is shown through our obedience and TRUST IN GOD.
Faith isn’t saying, “Jesus, I trust in You” in our words or “feeling” like we really trust in Him and then not following Him (obeying Him). Without truly following Him–I mean allowing God to teach us how to correctly follow Him to perfection–we don’t have faith…not even remotely close to a saving faith. Faith is trusting in God that He is the Way to Eternal Life, and believing He will spend our lives trying to teach us the way there (how to change our lives) with the good and most importantly with the bad that occurs in our lives. God wants us in Heaven and allows all to occur in our lives so to move us towards that goal. If we look for Him guiding us in each moment, seeking His will, boy will we grow in faith from trusting in God to teach us what we need to do to amend our lives to get there. Even if we don’t recognize God’s love for us, He seeks to guide us to Him in all that we do, we just need to lean how to tap into that love/guidance (His will) so we can continue to walk towards the light to perfection by perfect obedience to Him.
Faith isn’t saying, “Jesus, I trust in You” in our words and then worrying and becoming angry when things go wrong. We must remember anyone can trust in God when good occurs, but only those with a true faith, who trust all of the time, especially when trials come along, have a faith that can save. That is the test. Those with a saving faith, who are in peace, don’t want to control but want to let go of control. They don’t want to be esteemed, nor are they so humiliated when embarrassments do occur that they worry themselves to sleep; they want the humiliation and rejoice in the cross and see it as a moment to grow in much needed humility (knowledge of ones sinfulness and nothingness). Those in peace aren’t concerned with pleasing others, seeking approval, wanting respect or love from others. They have let go of those concerns and are concerned only with what God thinks of them and content with what ever God sends them. Those with a saving faith desire nothing but God’s will and are perfectly content with whatever God allows to happen–even their sins. Yes, they hate their sins, and can’t bear to commit them, but they can’t wait to learn from them, and rejoice in God’s mercy (love, help, & forgiveness) He gives, from their contrite (sorrowful) heart, during their misery, to bring them towards the Light.
“Your wretchedness is not an obstacle but a spur for you to become more united to God and seek him constantly, because He purifies us” (St. Josemaria Escriva).
Yet, for most, when God allows the rejection, the suffering, and the tragedy, etc. into our lives, we despair and become despondent (discouraged) and beg and beg God for our will to be done–for the cross to leave–and if God’s will is not the same as ours–if He doesn’t desire for our cross to leave–sadly we live in great worry, or we are constantly wanting our will or we choose to do countless worldly things (outside of moderation and opposed to God’s will) to try to make our cross leave as we reject our cross that was meant to lead us to Christ. We greatly lack trust in God and apparently don’t understand what faith really is. Or we say being a true Christian is really hard…to justify why we haven’t repented and changed, so we can keep in our sinful ways…but if we truly tried to follow Christ properly, gaining this trusting faith of a true Christian isn’t hard at all as I will explain.
Our faith is proven by our responses to life’s challenges
All of our despair, depression, and loneliness, crying for love and care from others as we declare nobody understands or really cares about us is all from sin. Any moment outside and peace is a fruit of sin….from a lack of grace. How can we claim to have true faith, if we don’t have the fruits of the Spirit: charity, joy, peace, patience, benignity (kindness), goodness, longanimity (generosity), mildness (gentleness), faith, modesty, continency (self-control), and chastity, which come from obedience and trust.
To have a saving faith and a life of peace, our responses to life’s crosses is supposed to result in faith, which is a wonderful no problem Lord–thy will be done–trusting response to all that occurs. Not seeking to be loved but to love. Now there is nothing wrong with asking for God’s intersession–help with our or someone else’s life so we can come to know, love and serve Him better–when seemingly horrible things happen or might happen or even happen in our everyday life choices. Actually, this is what God wants us to do. Much of the time God allows seemingly bad things to occur so we will learn even more strongly how to turn to Him in our time of need and grow in greater trust. But we must fully understand what ever God wills is truly perfect, for those who trust in Him.
We can’t turn to God for help wanting our will, but rather we need to turn to God–seeing our need for help–calling out for grace while giving a complete release of our will and surrendering fully to what God allows to happen, knowing if we ask we will receive if what we ask is in accord with God’s will or if God can still hear our prayers as for some their great sins has turned God’s head, and He can’t hear them any longer (cf. Isaiah 59:2). We need to believe God will take care of us and provide if we ask. He surely knows the Way better than we do. And if it seems like God ins’t hearing our prayers…perhaps it isn’t because “your iniquities have made a separation between you and your God, and your sins have hidden His face from you so that He does not hear” (Isaiah 59:2). Therefore, you will need to repent and change–especially your big sins–so to turn God’s face back towards you. Truly, God will always provide; He loves us, as long as we don’t reject His grace (help), we will receive it. Sadly, much of the time God sends the grace we need, and we unknowingly reject His most merciful help because we desire sin instead. Remove the sin, receive the grace. We must be working to STOP OUR SINS…to obtain the help from God we really need. The more sin we remove the more grace we can receive. (click to learn how to stop sinning)
Then with fervent prayer and supplication (begging within moderation) to God for what we feel is best but perfectly trusting in what He allows as being much better than what we think is good, is how we will grow in great peace. Living in perfect peace truly knowing all God allows is ultimately very good should be our goal. Yet, that isn’t the goal for most and as a result, we are far from perfect peace. We simply don’t want to suffer like Christ or really trust in Him. We don’t want to live the faith. We want the faith for the perks and salvation, but not the cross. But, that just isn’t possible…and we won’t obtain true blessings of the faith on earth nor eternal life, until we truly learn how to live the faith and work towards being a true follower of Jesus. It is because we don’t sincerely want to follow Him or carry whatever cross He allows that we live greatly outside of the wonderful peace He delivers. Sadly, most of us don’t really believe the cross is the way to Christ; if we did we would “rejoice in our suffering” (Romans 5:3) or at the very least seek God’s grace so we can one day rejoice in our crosses. Life doesn’t have to be this horrible burden and struggle outside of peace trying to survive another day; we can have wonderful trusting peace in all circumstances, no matter what happens. We can have great peace all of the time!
For example: Lets say your computer crashes and the project you have been working on for days now seems to be corrupted and unusable. At the same time your trying to fix that problem, your dog goes through your trash and spreads garbage all over your house. Then, at the next moment, your son walks in from outside and slips on the trash hurting his wrist and wants attention, and just a moment later your spouse calls upset and wants you to call the credit card company thinking there is a fraud charge on the account. Now, without much grace, someone might feel overwhelmed or angry with just one of those occurrences, but with God’s grace all of those events, simultaneously, are wonderful crosses to delight in for the salvation of souls and a great test of our faith–to see if we have true acceptance in whatever God allows (His will)–to see if we have a true faith in Christ. This faith, this peace, in this real life event and in any event is very possible for you. All you need to do is change.
So, how do you find peace all of the time? The answer is, God, of course. However, if you have already tried to make yourself respond peacefully in horrible situations, you can easily see you can’t just wish to have peace when things go very wrong and it will occur; it doesn’t happen that way. Sure some people can “fake it,” but they know inside they are on the brink of exploding. And some people who are even seemingly without faith my seem they are more peace than you, and that might be true, but their peace isn’t true and perfect and isn’t from their great faith in Jesus. Being OK or even delighted, with ALL that God allows is a true gift from God given to those with a real faith in God, and it is available to all–naturally calm and easily angered alike.
Why are some more easy going than others?
Then there are some blessed people, who have left the impatient, rude, angry, worrisome way of life from accepting God’s transforming grace, and are now wonderful calm during even the worst of trials. Yet, there are others, who are born with a more calm easy going demeanor than others, which was given to them from God in the form of natural gifts at their birth. This gift was given to them so they can use it to better know, serve and love God for the salvation of souls. That is why some people, even those who have lost the faith, can be more naturally calm during trials than others. They have more of that natural gift of calmness. Therefore, some people will, for lack of better words, “go with the flow” more naturally when things go wrong, but that is from their hereditary gift from God, not true faith and trust in Jesus.
Therefore just because someone is more patient or doesn’t worry as much than another doesn’t necessarily mean they are more faithful than the less patient person, easily flustered person. However, the truly faithful person is always patient and trusting because you can’t be following Christ correctly, be a true Christian, and still consistently bear that unloving quality of impatience and lack of trust (worry). God most certainly will take that sin away as it a sign of a lack of faith. Now as far as the more naturally patient person goes, God will test the faith of those given that easy going demeanor, so they don’t walk around blind priding themselves from their ease of living, thinking they are “faithful” when their behavior has nothing to do with their faith, in order to show them (when they fail the test) that they too are still in great need of Our Savior’s grace so they repent and change and learn how to have a true trusting saving faith in Christ. But if they don’t see that test–don’t see their need for God’s mercy (help/forgiveness), they could continue to walk around life thinking they are a really good guy and saved, because they don’t explode like their neighbor does during difficulties…thinking they are so much better of a person. But in God’s eyes they are no better at all and still lack much faith. They are judging themselves based on their inherited gifts, not their true faith in God. For those with a naturally calm demeanor, God expects them to corporate with His actual grace (to help move them into His service) and use those gifts for His honor and glory, not to boost their pride.
I feel simply horrible for those who are without the saving faith, who go day after day living with God’s natural gifts, but not using them for His honor and Glory, and think they are saved. How terribly tragic for the person, who lives a “good” life in the world’s eyes, who treats others kindly, has a good job, is responsible, charitable, patient, etc. but doesn’t truly love God…they aren’t seek to stop all their sins nor living for His will alone. But they are still much more “loving” and relaxed than plenty of others and are tricked into thinking they are saved by the evil one. They are seemingly “good” because they do good things, but sadly have no true humility (knowledge of their real sinfulness). As a result, they don’t know their need for God’s forgiving saving mercy because they don’t feel they do much of anything wrong. So many believe they are righteous because they aren’t as outwardly wretched as someone else. Sadly, they live greatly deceived and are desperately needing to suffer from their sins to see the plethora of (less visible) sins that they love, which they have covered, that truly dwell within. Frankly, if the “good guy,” who is patient and relaxed, only knew how horrible just one of their sins is and just how incredibly sinful they really are, the “good guy” would have no pride at all. For we–the seemingly good and the outwardly sinful–are simply wretched. We certainly wouldn’t think of ourselves as a “good guy,” better than the rest, any more if we only had self-knowledge. What a blessing to have knowledge of our sinfulness. Truly, only by God working through us can any of us do anything truly good at all. Just because we can’t blatantly see our sinfulness, doesn’t mean it isn’t there and in much excess. We all sin and sin a lot. Sure some sins more grievous crimes against God than others, but all sin is a tragic blow to God’s Sacred Heart that we must seek to amend. Tragically, the seemingly “good” people–according to the world’s standards–have not done their “good” deeds truly for the honor and glory of God, which makes nothing they have done actually “good” after all. For something to be truly good and have merit for themselves, it must be done to know, serve and love God. All else is sin. Even if someone does some their “good” with the true intention to love God in others, if all of their intentions isn’t for God’s honor and glory, and they aren’t working to stop whatever sinful intentions they do have, then all is still lost. We can be a little lost or a lot lost, but in the end it all leads to the same: a life and eternity outside of the perfect peace God offers.
People by nature want to be “good.” Some people do the most amazing loving wonderful things for their fellow man–even atheist–yet tragically many are still doing them for the wrong reasons. Sadly, most do their “good” to be considered “good people” or because they want to be a hero or something so simple as being impelled to do the right thing burns within them. Many want to feel like they are a kind and charitable person and choose good over bad. And those things can be just wonderful. However, most don’t consider it is God who they should be serving and doing the good for in one another and instead even with all of the good they are doing, they get caught still living for their pride. We aren’t saved by our good deeds nor given a life of peace by them either…but are just meant to be catalyst to bring us to a wonderful life and eternity of joy. Truly, who wants to be thought of as bad…even most atheists desire to be “good.” It feels great to be considered the “good guy” who has successfully done great things for others. And doing good is what we are called to do, but it must be for the right reasons.
The outwardly “good people” (who lived deceived) from their naturally calm demeanor, good upbringing and/or positive influences that told them of the need to be “good,” which is great, but they now believe they are “saved” because of their good works and kindness, not from God’s sanctifying grace. It is wonderful that those people are blessed by God and were given good examples and instruction on how to live a good life, but a huge part of the “good life” was left out of the equation, and they left thinking we are saved by their “good” deeds, which is completely false. Because the “good guy” isn’t suffering from the consequences of many sins and doesn’t know about their true sinfulness under the “good” qualities they have, they greatly lack humility and see no real need to cry out to God, with sincerity of heart, for His saving mercy. They were taught how to be “good” but not humble (knows ones sinfulness). There were taught how to be “kind” but not the need to do it all for God’s honor and glory. They were taught to be a benefit to society, but not a true disciple of Christ and sadly still live for the world. Unless someone teaches them the truth and they repent (with true sorrow) and change before their time of judgement comes all will be lost for the “good guy.” Yes sadly, Hell is filled with many “good guys.” Heaven is full of wretched sinners…with a truly humble contrite (sorrowful) heart. Honestly, if we lack humility because of our good nature, we will have a much harder time seeing our need for mercy, if we can’t humble ourselves to see how terribly sinful we really are towards our most perfect merciful God who deserves all of our love. Having great outward signs of the consequence of sin is a wonderful gift. So don’t complain or blame others if you suffer from being easily angered or worry when things go wrong…recognize your misery and lack of faith–then turn to God for mercy so you can truly repent, receive His grace and CHANGE.
Gift of Having the Consequence of Sin
Frankly, those of us with a fiery personality from birth (even for someone who has made our way to that disposition from sin), but especially for someone who has never had an “easy” way to accept what challenges happens in life peacefully–lacks the natural gifts–is more blessed than the naturally calmer person. The reason being, those who are short tempered, who worry and complain much–who have little tolerance of others imperfection and are rather impatient–they can more easily see our need for God’s mercy (grace), to help move them into a saving faith. It is in seeing our misery that we can humble ourselves to sincerely implore God’s mercy and accept it. Our impatience, despair and selfishness are perfect signs from God that we need much help (grace), because those with a continuous saving faith have obtained the grace to wonderfully trust in God and no longer possess those unloving qualities during life’s challenges.
Those who are strong willed and lack much love and trust, after they receive God’s fantastic grace, will also more easily see the amazing transformation God will make with them when they are finally transformed. They will wow over God’s work. However, no matter how naturally calm God made us or how far from grace we have fallen, we need to obtain grace to have a true trusting saving faith God and live in fantastic peace (outwardly and inwardly – in small challenges and large ones too). Yes, during all circumstances, we must trust, even the worst of atrocities. We can learn how to accept God’s grace so to conform our will to God’s and never become angry or complain again. Oh, the joy! Now the big question is, how do we do this? Actually, it is easy. Seriously, once we really want it and learn how to receive and keep His grace, growing in peace is not hard at all. It truly isn’t complicated. All you need is a firm desire and to do a few things. Then God will take care of everything.
The Steps on how to not become angry or frustrated when things go very wrong:
- Decide to change and seek a life of peace and believe God can give it to you. Decide that you don’t want to have these feelings that are outside of love and peace any more and you want to love, trust and obey God.
- Become sincerely resolved to stop sinning, because it is your sins that cause you to be outside of peace.
- Want to know your sins, since we are blind to most of our offences against God.
- Recognize what is a sin (learn the different kinds of sins) and see how it hurts–removes love, peace and offends God.
- Seek God’s grace for help, peace, true contrition and strength to change in Confession, Holy Eucharist, Prayer, Fasting, Sacrificing, Works of Mercy, etc.
Repeat until you are perfect… 🙂
Really, that is it. Now, let me explain how to go about and follow these above steps and grow in wonderful holiness and peace. The above is basically learning how to remove sin, which leads to our misery and to learning how to trust in God, which leads to our peace. Now when I said, “it is easy” to obtain this life of peace…perhaps that could be misleading. You see obtaining this life of peace is not hard once we obtain a firm resolve to change. However, obtaining a real determination to change and stop sinning is hard and takes much grace. However once our resolve to change is sincere it will be powerful enough to move us, and we will change and change when we apply the aforementioned into our life properly. Then God will bless us and we will grow in great peace.
Just like with the Word when it says all we need to do is believe and we are saved, and I said all we need is to sincerely desire to change and we receive enough grace to change. Well, just like with “belief” we need “true” belief to be saved and we also need “true” sincerity to accept God’s grace to change. There is such a thing as being a little belief that doesn’t save and also a little sincerity which doesn’t receive enough grace to change. Then there is “true” sincerity that accept’s God’s wonderful grace in a great way to be able to amend our ways. Wonderfully, there is even perfect sincerity that can result in God to answering all of our prayers perfectly and moving mountains. However, to move towards true happiness all of the time, we only need to be truly sincere in our desire to change.
Motivation to Change
If we aren’t really resolved to change, at least some of our wrongful ways, and still need much of God’s grace to get to this point, before we can even begin to modify our life, I suggest reading and continue to read along this journey St. Alphososus’ work to gain a greater understanding of the consequence of sin and/or Lifting Our Values “How to obtain Perfect Contrition”/meditations on the passion of Christ to help enlighten us and so to motivate us to rigorously and continuously want to change. Also, pray the “Precious Blood of Jesus” devotion the best you can for God to strengthen you through the grace delivering prayer. Frankly, even if we are wholeheartedly resolved to change, reading those materials to keep us motivated is greatly beneficial.
But to start, we need us to see if we are truly motivated…as I have said in many of my articles, we live lives blinded to the reality of who we are and the true intentions for our thoughts, words and deeds. If we say we are motivated to change but our actions have proven we aren’t because we only repeat our same pattern of wrong behaviors over and over again, are we truly motivated? Of course not. Yet, the devil will trick us and we will even cry to God for help–with our outward display of desperation seemingly to be sincere…but I promise you, if you simply can’t change, no matter how much you try, there is no other explanation except that you have yet to make a sincere cry to God for help. One cry is all it takes. I tell you that devil is so tricky, we will wholeheartedly lie to ourselves and never seek out to obtain sincerity of heart from his deception. We must be on guard. All we need is one sincere cry and God sends the grace to change.
Therefore, if we have tried to respond in love and prayer for others who are doing us wrong and still can’t; if we have tried to not worry when problems occur but no matter how much we try, we still do the same thing over and over again; no matter what the problem is, if we aren’t changing and just repeating our sinful ways, we still don’t sincerely want to change. No matter how much we like to think we are sincere, the proof is in our behavior since God only requires one thing from us for us to receive His grace to be able to change and that is a true desire. We must be sincere. If we simply can’t break our habits, we don’t have the grace to from our lack of true desire to change. There is no other reason for our lack of movement, it is through our fault, through our fault, through our most grievous fault. We simply don’t really want to.
Now if we can humble ourselves to accept this reality, then there is hope. So, how do we fix this? With out a true desire to change, we will never find a life of peace and choose eternal death too. A sincere heart, we must obtain and keep.
What is a sincere cry to God for help?
Lets see what a sincere cry to God looks like. There are plenty of examples in the Word and in today’s life to help us. But first, lets see what true personal discipline looks like since this is an integral part of making a sincere cry to God. We need to find out what kind of person we are? How much personal discipline do we have? Like with other natural gifts God bestows upon us, we all have different amounts of self discipline and are motivated to act disciplined for different reasons too. Many people display discipline for reasons of pride (self-accomplishment) and vanity (to look better). We see our discipline being displayed in various ways. For example: we will have feelings of hunger and successfully choose to not indulge in certain foods and even go hungry to maintain a certain weight. Some people will daily schedule time for exercise so to keep physically fit and/or to look sexy, etc. Others will discipline themselves greatly to achieve an athletic, business or education goal for personal success. If we look into our life to where have we succeeded and where have we failed to act in discipline, we can see just how much self-discipline we have or need? We can see if we can keep our discipline too or if we are the person who diets for a week but once a strong temptation comes along, it is all over. This discipline needed for Life needs to be obtained and kept. If we have been able to discipline ourselves–from the motivation of others or on our own–to do all of the above, we have much discipline…which is probably mostly motivated by sin (not for the honor and glory of God alone), but at least we have much of the natural gift of discipline from God. Of course we will have to stop using God’s gift in a sinful way, but this road to Life will be easier to walk towards if some discipline is already there. However, if we find ourselves always looking for the easy way out of “work,” falling into our unhealthy food cravings, love our bed, relaxation and would rather not exercise, or if we prefer to sit around and watch TV, surf the web or hang out with friends than work hard for a goal, or if we avoid any necessary good in life that involves “work” or discomfort, then we will need to obtain much discipline for this road towards Life, since the slothful and those seeking comfort–the undisciplined person–simply won’t make it. But not to worry. What you are lacking, God will provide to the sincere of heart.
So what does a sincere heart look like? The Word says “
How can I obtain God’s grace to make a sincere cry to God for help? The easiest way to make a sincere plea to God for mercy is by God blessing us with a huge cross. Therefore those with the greatest suffering have the greatest potential for amazing grace to give us a sincere desire to change. The greater our suffering, the greater our need will be felt for His help which should produce a more true desire and open our soul for God’s wonderful transforming grace. That is why many people have to “hit rock bottom” before they will surrender their will and be willing to change. We are so stubborn, for most, we need a really good reason to wholeheartedly turn to God. So, what do we do if we want God’s grace but don’t have a huge tragic agonizing cross to drive us to God? How can someone muster up a real sincere desire for God’s help or to change without “feeling” the real need too. Now that is the challenge. Sadly our belief is so weak unless we really “feel” the need to amend, we simply won’t. Mostly, if we feel any need to change at all, we will only make a half-hearted effort. Therefore, how do we grow in belief that produces real fervent prayers that accept God’s grace to wholeheartedly work to change?
The next way to gain a sincere cry to God is to gain humility, through knowledge of our misery (sinfulness) since it is our pride that keep us from crying to God with any movable sincerity.
more coming soon
[whohit]-How can I trust in God when things go very wrong-[/whohit]